You aren’t the only one who doubts

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Mark 9:24.

You aren't the only one who doubts

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

The reason this is one of my favorites is because it reminds me that I’m not alone. I’m not the only one with doubts and fears. I’m not the only one that wonders “if” instead of “when” or “how.”

For a long time I thought I was the only one.

For a long time I was ashamed of the doubt I felt.

I thought every one else had a Herculean faith. I thought that everyone who sat around me at church had sprinted into service confidently…knowing and trusting beyond the shadow of a doubt.

But, over time I realized that isn’t true at all. The truth is that many of us limp into church every weekend, broken and beat up…wondering how we’ll make it through the next week.

I struggle constantly. I often wonder if God is listening. I wonder where He is and why He isn’t answering.

I remember vividly how I felt a few years ago when I lost my job because the company I worked for closed its doors.

As if losing your job isn’t scary enough, my wife and I were brand new parents. My daughter, Kaylee, was only four months old, and I. was. terrified.

My faith was already tiny, at best. And I wondered why God would give me this beautiful baby girl and then take away my means to provide for her. I wondered where He was when job application after application went, seemingly, into a black hole, and I couldn’t get a return phone call or an email, much less an interview.

To say my faith was tested is an understatement.

I wish I could tell you I trusted God through it all, but the truth is I didn’t. I didn’t wonder when or how He was going to answer my prayers, I wondered if. I mean, I had grown weary of praying and wasn’t convinced an answer was coming.

Have you ever felt that way?

If you think you are the only one with a mustard seed sized faith, know that you aren’t.

You see, faith is a journey filled with twists and turns…seasons of strong conviction and seasons of doubt. And despite what we may think sometimes, no one is without doubt. No one.

So, don’t be ashamed of your uncertainties.

Don’t hide from them. Speak them. Tell Him. Cling to the faith you do have and see what journey God takes you on.

You know, most of all, that verse and the story that it’s from reminds me that doubt is the beginning of a deeper faith…that our weakness is the beginning of His strength…that He is willing to pour His grace over us even if we have the smallest of faith engulfed in a sea of doubt.

You aren’t the only one who doubts.

I am often swimming in a sea of doubt.

But, even when we don’t feel like it, He is always with us.

He is always faithful.

His love never wavers.

I believe; help my unbelief!

Stephen

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  • Paul Frederick

    Thanks for sharing Steve. I can relate not only on the job loss with a baby on the way as was my case in 1997, but in facing uncertainty while enduring a trial that totally caught me off guard when I was diagnosed with cancer in Nov 2013. During the summer of 2014 while undergoing my stem cell transplant, one of my nurses shared an article with me which is based on the book “Don’t Waste Your Cancer” by John Piper. I’ve shared it with others who are facing cancer in their own lives. While a life threatening health crisis and a job crisis are not the same, they are indeed trials in our lives. The worry and uncertainty were real in both instances. I believe that this article holds true for all serious trials in our lives. When you read it, just replace the word cancer with any serious trial you may be facing. The faithfulness of God doesn’t change depending on the nature of our trials. While I don’t believe that he is punishing or inflicting a trial upon us, he certainly allows us to go through them. He will use those times in our life to do a work that only that trial could facilitate. While difficult, those trials result in a blessing in our life that we could have never imagined before. I know it was for me. I appreciate your message.

    http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/dont-waste-your-cancer

    • Paul, thank you so much for sharing your story with everyone. I’ve read your words several times and each time I read them, it sparks a new thought about hope and God’s faithfulness. “The faithfulness of God doesn’t change depending on the nature of our trials.” – thanks for that reminder!