Valentine’s Day cards are a setup.

Don’t buy into the hype of Valentine’s Day cards.

Valentine's Day Cards are a Setup

It’s a setup.

Head over to the Valentine’s Day section of your preferred greeting card shop and you’ll see what I mean. Oh, it seems like they are trying to help you. They make it so convenient.

I need a card for my wife…fast. Oh look, here is a “For My Wife” section. Score!

Trust me, it’s all downhill from there.

You stand in front of about 157 different cards thinking that you’ll soon narrow it down to the perfect one.

Well, the perfect card doesn’t exist. And though it may seem like a wall of choices, there are really only two: the long, sappy poem written in a font you can barely read and the I’m a goober card.

Do not get the long sappy poem version. For one, that’s not your style. Second, if you can’t even bare to read the whole thing standing in the store, why would your wife read it when you give it to her?

That leaves you with the “I’m a goober” versions.

That card comes in many different variations, but they all have the same premise…

“Honey, you are the best and I’m a goober. I can’t dress myself or even remember to put on deodorant without your nudging.”

Setup.

Here’s a real example of a card I found:

Outside of card: I’d be lost without you.

Inside of card: Not to mention cold, hungry, dressed badly, inconsiderate, cranky, smelly…

Cold? It’s Valentine’s Day and all of a sudden I forgot how to change the thermostat?

I mean, I love my wife more than Matthew McConaughey loves Lincoln cars, but if she hadn’t married me, I’d still know how to shower.

In fact, I’m pretty sure that was a prerequisite before she even agreed to marry me.

Why would your wife want to be married to that guy anyway? But you’re not that guy and even if you were, you wouldn’t want to point it out, right?!

Setup.

I just need a card that tells my wife she’s wonderful! (Because she is!) Is that too much to ask?!

I want to affirm her choice in a spouse, not have her question it! I mean, I’ve got a good thing going on over here!

Fortunately, relationships aren’t defined by a single card or a single day for that matter.

So, don’t stress over picking the perfect card or the perfect flowers. Perfection only happens in movies.

Instead, celebrate in a way that’s uniquely you. In fact, isn’t that your favorite part of Valentine’s Day…each other?

Celebrate how much fun you have together and how you love each other even more than you love bacon!

Have you gotten your card yet? What does it say?

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Brian

    I do hate the card section as well. I hate the way All of the cards tell my wife all the things she ‘does for me.’ Can’t I just wish her a Happy Valentines Day, or Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas without telling her ‘Thanks for being my personal servant?’
    Anyway this Post was a Setup as well cause you’re trying to get me to spoil the message on my card by telling you what it said. When my wife sees this before Valentine’s Day, the romance will have been stripped from the moment.
    But, then she’ll have more time to pick out my close for the next day.

  • Brian

    I do hate the card section as well. I hate the way All of the cards tell my wife all the things she ‘does for me.’ Can’t I just wish her a Happy Valentines Day, or Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas without telling her ‘Thanks for being my personal servant?’
    Anyway this Post was a Setup as well cause you’re trying to get me to spoil the message on my card by telling you what it said. When my wife sees this before Valentine’s Day, the romance will have been stripped from the moment.
    But, then she’ll have more time to pick out my clothes for the next day.

    • Ha ha! So funny! Didn’t mean to set you up also!