The other day my feet were cold, so I put on my wife’s slippers. Hey, I couldn’t find mine! Colton, our two-year old, smelled a rat right away.
“That’s mommy’s shoes!” he said.
He was right, of course.
And though I might have been wearing her shoes, I could never fill her shoes.
You see, Emily is amazing, and though she’s hard on herself sometimes like so many mothers are, the truth is she keeps our family going. She loves us like crazy, and makes sure we always have what we need to have and do what we need to do, like brush our teeth.
(My wife’s a dental hygienist. Trust me, you do not want to experience the wrath that will ensue if you don’t brush your teeth!)
Even though I’m well aware of how awesome she is, I realized recently that sometimes I take my wife for granted.
I mean, I didn’t think I did before. I try to compliment her, tell her thank you, and strive to be an equal player at home. Actually, I’ve always been pretty proud of the effort that I put in around here…doing what I can to help take care of the kids, to cut the grass, or to do whatever other chores need to be done.
But the other day I saw a quote something along the lines of the following:
Marriage is not a 50-50 relationship; it’s a 100-100 relationship.
When I read that, lots of thoughts went through my mind as I tried to do a quick evaluation of which side of that semicolon I was on…
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I’m often more focused on doing my share instead of giving everything I have. Do you ever do that?
“I’ll wash the dishes if you put them away.”
Don’t get me wrong, it takes a lot of teamwork in a marriage to raise children, keep a home, etc., but I think I’ve been confusing teamwork and partnership.
Teamwork is working with another to accomplish a common goal, but partnership is equal ownership in something. And, I’m pretty sure I’ve been trying harder to be a teammate than a partner.
As I kept thinking, I realized that quote isn’t just about tasks either. It’s about our overall lives together. Emily deserves 100% of me…all of my love, effort, attention, trust, respect…you name it.
Guys, those are the things we need to focus on more than making sure we complete a check list.
In fact, those are things Emily gives me daily that I really take for granted…probably because they aren’t tangible. I mean, she’s not just an expert dinner maker and diaper changer. She encourages me and prays for me…she overlooks my thinning hair and laughs at my jokes! (Well, most of them.) She helps me to be…me.
You know, that quote is true of any relationship really. As long as we are only willing to go as far as the other person, we aren’t loving the way God intended…as ourselves. And, I certainly give myself all of me!
What about you? Are you 50-50 in your relationships? Or 100-100? Are you a teammate or a partner? Is there someone you take for granted?
Honey, I’m sure I’ll have relapses, but know that I love you and appreciate all you do!